


This Isn't An Indie Tragedy Movie

by RubiconFiction



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Light Angst, M/M, Melancholy, Sad Spencer Reid, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:15:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26879554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RubiconFiction/pseuds/RubiconFiction
Summary: Spencer is really happy for Derek. He truly is.He just can't help but think of what could have been.But it doesn't matter. Reid and Morgan missed their chance.Slightly sad. Melancholic.
Relationships: Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid, Savannah Hayes/Derek Morgan, Spencer Reid & David Rossi
Comments: 9
Kudos: 63





	This Isn't An Indie Tragedy Movie

When Savannah was at the hospital Spencer had prepared himself. He knew what to do after losing Maeve. He'd prepared himself to hold Derek as he would fall apart. When Derek took off by himself after the unsub, Spencer felt his gut twist. Derek was too angry and too raw to go after an unsub. But he survived. Savannah survived and even more miraculously, their child survived. So when Derek wept at relief and happiness by Savannah's bed, Spencer anticipated what was going to happen next. He was pretty sure everyone on the team did. As much as Derek loved the BAU, he had learnt from Hotch's life. Derek hadn't officially announced it to everyone else but he had told Spencer and Spencer had convinced both Derek and himself that it was the right choice. Because this wasn't about Derek and Spencer. This was about Savannah and Hank.

This isn't some indie tragedy story. Derek isn't a closet gay man secretly in love with Spencer, who's marrying his girlfriend only because he got her pregnant. Derek loves Savannah. Period. There's no condition involved here. There's no suppressed feeling involved here. Savannah is the love of Derek's life. He was going to pop the question soon anyway. Even before he found out she was pregnant. And when he did find out he was to be a father, the pure joy in his chest was unmistakable.

The wedding is beautiful. There's something about night weddings, the calm and the peace. A soft song is playing in the background and people are slow dancing. The whole team is here, somehow without a case for once. People are slow dancing in pairs, Savannah and Derek in their own fantasy world, nearly hugging each, pressing soft kisses every so often. Will and JJ are enjoying their rare night together, as is Hotch with Beth. Spencer enjoys too. He dances with Penelope and dances with Emily. He shows a magic trick to Jack and Henry and even downs a couple drinks with Rossi. It's only after a while that he distances himself a little from the main group and sits himself on an illuminated bench, wine in hand.

Derek deserves a happy, stable, normal life. Spencer isn't in any way bitter about the fact that he's at Derek's wedding. He's not like that. He is genuinely happy for him.

But still. Beneath that joy, there's something not so pleasant. Not anger, not resentment, because Spencer isn't like that. But _something_. Regret? Maybe.

It's not like Reid and Morgan were ever exactly a thing. They weren't. Not really anyway. But they could have been. They honestly could have and that's a fact. When Reid was struggling with Hankel and again after Maeve, Morgan had picked him up. 

Their relationship was a case of if it's meant to be, it will happen.

Ofcourse it didn't happen. It's not an indie tragedy story remember?

Reid wasn't even sure if Morgan ever had mutual feelings for him. Their relationship often blurred between platonic and something more. There was a time when Reid had thought maybe. Just, maybe. They had a particularly difficult case in a small town and Reid and Morgan had had to share a room together. Reid had been worried about his mom and one evening he just.. snapped. Morgan just sat their listening to Reid as he poured everything out. They sat close together, Morgan's hand resting gently on Reid's knee. Even after Reid finished talking, they just sat in the same position silently. Then suddenly they were leaning in a little closer as Morgan reached out and tucked Reid's hair behind his ear. They lean in even closer and _something_ is about happen. But right at that point, Hotch knocked on their door about a lead in the case and they sprang apart. They locked eyes for a moment and refocused their mind back on the case and never spoke of the incident again. Ever.

Then after a few months, Derek met Savannah and the fragile and incredibly subtle thing he had with Reid was replaced with a more confident and more intense connection.

Honestly, Derek didn't really think much about that moment with Reid and what it could have brought, once things with Savannah got serious. And that was how it should be. That doesn't mean they shouldn't have talked about it in the months before he met Savannah though. It wasn't love. Not at that point. But it was something that could have turned into love. Something that they could have gone deeper into and they didn't. 

They missed their chance.

Reid didn't even notice when Rossi came and sat beside him.

"Nice wedding", Rossi commented idly.

"Yep. Can't believe we all actually got to attend", Reid replied, talking a sip of his wine.

"Thank god we did. With how the BAU is, it may be a while before we see them again". Reid just nodded silently at that.

"Reminds me of my three weddings. Although not the ambiance mind you, I don't necessarily remember it being so sophisticated", Rossi chucked lightly, eliciting a snort from Reid. There was a few minutes of silence as Rossi hesitated slightly before continuing.

"You know if there's something my littany of marriages have taught me, it's... it's that it's absolutely possible to fall in love more than once, even if the first one never completely leaves our mind". 

Reid's head snapped up, eyes widening slightly.

_Rossi knew. Rossi always fucking knew._

Reid looked up to see a melancholic smile on Rossi's face. His first thought was to feign innocence.

"I-", Reid looked at Rossi's expression, eyebrows raised slightly and changed his mind. What really was the point of denying anyway.

"Yeah", he sighed as looked back down. He suddenly had the urge to defend himself.

"I really am happy for him, Dave", Reid's voice was soft, and if Rossi wasn't as keen a profiler as he is, he wouldn't have picked up on the hint of desperation in Reid's voice.

"I know that kid, I really do. And trust me, Derek does too", Rossi smiled sincerely and squeezed Reid's shoulder gently. Reid returned with his own small smile and looked back down.

Again, this isn't some indie tragedy movie. This was real life. Was Morgan secretly in love with Reid? Probably not. Not at this point. Was Reid secretly in love with Morgan? Maybe. Maybe not. It was just the _what if_ of it all that killed him. Reid leaned back into the backrest with a sigh as he refilled his glass. In the distance, Derek and Savannah are laughing about something.

**Author's Note:**

> Have had this idea stuck in my head all day and had to write it down. I don't even ship Moreid as such but still felt like this could be an idea.  
> Kudos are welcome.  
> Please review :)


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